Photo by Rebecca Gilligan
I heard once that the thing that breaks your heart the most is the root in which your passion lies. The most heartbreaking thing to me is children who are neglected, abused, or don’t have enough. Maybe that’s why I am currently assistant teaching. Every time I hear a story about a child who has been beaten, and I’m not talking about just a little spanking for misbehavior, I mean truly beaten for the mere point of it, I cannot stop my heart from breaking and my eyes from crying.
It completely baffles me how an adult can use violence to make a point with a child. An innocent child who is only behaving the way they have been taught to behave. Kids are not born good, none of us are… We have to learn that and we can’t do that without God. Violence is never the answer. God is.
Every day the realization of my love for children only becomes more and more real. When I went to Honduras in August 2016 with Living Water International, my team was building a well at a school so we got to be with all the kids in the community and love on them and play games with them. It was those moments where I felt like I had a true purpose in life. Seeing the smiles and the love captured on their faces even after such a short amount of time spent with them (we were only in the village for 4 days) it was so hard to leave them.
I left a huge part of my heart in Palo Verde, Honduras and I owe a lot of the process of finding myself to those days I spent there. Those children have shown me that children are part of my purpose in life. I want to make a difference and I have come to realize that I specifically want to make a difference in the lives of children. Now here I am working in a Christian school making a difference and sharing the love of Jesus every day. You see a lot of hard things as a teacher. You see a lot of difficult family situations, children who feel forgotten and unnoticed, starving for love. As a teacher, you get to be a “safe haven” sometimes and even if you only make a difference in one life, you’ve done something huge.
Over the past month or so, I have been facing some trials due to my low income I have had to undergo a job search. This job search has been intense… like I mean somewhere around 75 resumes and cover letters sent out in just a little over a month. I am not hearing any feedback from them, and the ones I have heard from were either inappropriate, unprofessional, or did not align with my morals. I cannot help but seriously believe that this is hugely due to the fact that none of the jobs in which I have sent applications to involve children or the gospel. So the search continues, but every day I feel more and more like God has me where he needs me most, at a Lutheran preschool, surrounded by loving godly people, and giving my all to the children I get to see on a daily basis.
I am confident that God has revealed to me the path in which He intends for me to take. Sure, that path is definitely not one of financial comfort but it is one of sacrifice, servitude, and influence for the future generations. That holds so much more weight in my heart than a dollar, and that’s what God is trying to show me right now.
“May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the Lord answer all your prayers.” Psalm 20:4-5